Alright.
We got to the airport about 2 hours before our flight on Thursday...unfortunately for us, so did
about 300 other people. Amazing. I have never seen that many people at DFW airport. The line for security was backed up all the way to baggage claim. In spite of all that, I had faith we'd make it. We had to. We're SGLA. We paid $14,326 for our plane tickets. We're meeting New Mexico in Atlanta. We did not get on the plane. The Delta agents were grumpy and rude. People were pissed off, and everyone got handed a little card with some 1-800 customer service number, and told that they weren't getting out on Delta in the next 2 days.
I thought about calling our travel agent, but she was in New Mexico, and they are an hour behind, so she wouldn't be at the office anyway. I thought about calling my mom (because what else do you do when you need help??) I was playing out cab rides to Love Field, or Houston George Bush. The kids were just going to go to the counter and demand to get on the plane that was already leaving the gate. They were panicked. Even though we were inside, in the air-conditioned building, safe, loaded with power bars, and full tubes of toothpaste...this was a real freak out for some of them.
If all else fails, follow directions.
I called the 1-800 number on the card. Thank you, every spirit, angel, Krishna incarnation, deity, and universal power; Edith from someplace on the east coast, was my operator standing by. Edith is everything you dream a customer service representative to be. Firstly, she was a human being on the other side of the phone, polite, kind, gentle, someone who acts in your best interest, and lastly, a kick ass bitch who made mountains move for 8 clean, wanting to be smiley, willing travelers.
Please name your next child Edith. (or Devie--which would be such an honor for me)
If you're betting on a horse--let it all ride on Edith Bunker.
You may even consider changing your password to Edith.
Edith got us 8 passages on an American Airlines flight, leaving in a little less than an hour.
I did the rest. No tram. takes too long. must be at the counter, with bags checked, no less than 45 minutes before take off. TAXI!!!!! Yes I know there is a free tram. we have 8, how much? $14!? each car? Just to the next terminal? You got it Aman...get your taxidriver friend over there to take the other 4 people, and step on it! Terminal C...NOW!
Premiere Passengers? You bet your sweet bippie we are! Ahhhh..Walter the ticket agent. Must have been Edith's father. Boarding passes, and since we're premiere passengers, no waiting to get through security...front of the line please...(there was a little excitement getting Nena through security with her crutches (which we are donating today) and that boot thingy (which has TWICE climbed the mountain called Arunachala)) right to the gate--now boarding --beginning with the premiere passengers!
dude.
we SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO scored!
Atlanta proved a nice rest...of course, somehow my purple bag got left at a gate, and Daniel O.J. Simpsoned it back to retrieve it from the police...We ate 11 dollar sandwiches, drank coffee and sodas, and then 24 of us boarded this OLD Air France plane, for Paris.
Do not get the idea that just because it's French, it's fancy.
It ain't.
Couple hours layover in Paris proved totally uneventful..UNTIL Peyton, Aaliyah, Gabe, and Aren didn't make it back from the food court. Madame...I will have to close the gate in 5 minutes.
Well, hell.
At the zero hour, there they come, plodding along like we're there for 6 more hours.
Yelling. Now I'm yelling.
"RUN"
"I mean it! Run! "They are closing the gates, NOW!"
So they board the plane with a blue domino branded pizza box, and open backpacks, and we made it yet again.
Did you know that many of those Mumbai bound passengers had never even considered bringing a fresh hot pizza on board an airplane? Let alone passing the box around so that multiple people could snack from it...You mark my words...next week those flight attendants will be picking up paneer masala pizza boxes, and wondering why they hadn't thought of it sooner!
Some of us haven't showered in days...not because we can't. we just don't. I am one of them.
And, now, I am ready for a nice cool bucket bath.
I'm in touch...so you be in touch~
Love you!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Well, poop...yes, you heard me. Poop
Some of you know me well, and others not so much...for those not so muchers, be prepared:
I am about to talk about POOP!
Is it news worthy that I just pooped at one of those squatty places? maybe not for you, but for
this western toilet loving traveler, it most certainly is. The squatty hole in the ground receptors
look a bit like a bedpan with moon boot prints on either side...all level with the ground. This feat
is monumental for me, as I managed last year, to only use the one on the train...and it makes me
chuckle just thinking about it. You gotta take one leg of your pants off, and swish them around to the other side, hold them on one hand, squat full on, balance, aim, and then release whatever inhibitions you may have about squat pooping, do your business, keep balanced, and not focus too much on the train tracks, which you can see through the hole into which you are depositing, figure out whether or not you're done when you think you are, and then balance, still holding your pant leg, reach for your bag, and pray to Vishnu you remembered something soft to wipe with.
In the event you did not bring something soft, or you left your bag at your place on the train, far outside the clumsily latched door, there is a cuppy thing, about the size of the melted measuring cup I got from my grandmother's cooking stuff, (maybe 3 cups or so) that you fill with extremely non-potable water, and trickle down your backside, as sort of a hand held bidet. (then you get to hang out there longer (literally) and air dry) depending on your constitution, your thighs burn and you almost never come out of it wishing you had one of these at home...
With all that said, poop talk is very common in SGLA India. The bacteria here, the participants' stomachs, and an average of 5 chais a day, are all factors in the output. Are they pooping? what's the consitancy? is an infection forming? how long since their last poop? 3-4 packs of Emergen-C, every 3 hours until something happens. Sometimes after an event or lack there of, their electrolytes are so jacked up that they cannot drink enough water to hydrate their cells...there's stuff for that, too.
I would be willing to bet that none of you thought the first blog entry from the trip would be about poop...HAHA!
I am about to talk about POOP!
Is it news worthy that I just pooped at one of those squatty places? maybe not for you, but for
this western toilet loving traveler, it most certainly is. The squatty hole in the ground receptors
look a bit like a bedpan with moon boot prints on either side...all level with the ground. This feat
is monumental for me, as I managed last year, to only use the one on the train...and it makes me
chuckle just thinking about it. You gotta take one leg of your pants off, and swish them around to the other side, hold them on one hand, squat full on, balance, aim, and then release whatever inhibitions you may have about squat pooping, do your business, keep balanced, and not focus too much on the train tracks, which you can see through the hole into which you are depositing, figure out whether or not you're done when you think you are, and then balance, still holding your pant leg, reach for your bag, and pray to Vishnu you remembered something soft to wipe with.
In the event you did not bring something soft, or you left your bag at your place on the train, far outside the clumsily latched door, there is a cuppy thing, about the size of the melted measuring cup I got from my grandmother's cooking stuff, (maybe 3 cups or so) that you fill with extremely non-potable water, and trickle down your backside, as sort of a hand held bidet. (then you get to hang out there longer (literally) and air dry) depending on your constitution, your thighs burn and you almost never come out of it wishing you had one of these at home...
With all that said, poop talk is very common in SGLA India. The bacteria here, the participants' stomachs, and an average of 5 chais a day, are all factors in the output. Are they pooping? what's the consitancy? is an infection forming? how long since their last poop? 3-4 packs of Emergen-C, every 3 hours until something happens. Sometimes after an event or lack there of, their electrolytes are so jacked up that they cannot drink enough water to hydrate their cells...there's stuff for that, too.
I would be willing to bet that none of you thought the first blog entry from the trip would be about poop...HAHA!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
someday
Here it is.
today is someday. still can't find it on the calendar, BUT
I declare today someday, and so it is.
can today be today and someday at the same time? hmmmm maybe my
logic is flawed. or not.
India is just something like 33 hours away.
I'll be excited just as soon as I have those visas in hand...crapping all the way to
Atlanta, because they will be waiting for us a the fed ex place near the airport?
YES. the visas will be there.
Oh, and I haven't packed yet.
or slept lately.
think I'll begin with the latter.
today is someday. still can't find it on the calendar, BUT
I declare today someday, and so it is.
can today be today and someday at the same time? hmmmm maybe my
logic is flawed. or not.
India is just something like 33 hours away.
I'll be excited just as soon as I have those visas in hand...crapping all the way to
Atlanta, because they will be waiting for us a the fed ex place near the airport?
YES. the visas will be there.
Oh, and I haven't packed yet.
or slept lately.
think I'll begin with the latter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)